Thursday, January 28, 2010

On the Road Again...

As we embark on the "Road to Wrestlemania," I would like to give you my predictions ideas, and dreams for the big show.

First, allow me to introduce you to the 24 Rumble participants already announced, especially those who have no shot at the ticket...

The Rookies
Yoshi Tatsu, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger and Evan Bourne will be participating in the Royal Rumble for the first time this year. I think the only rookie who won was Jim Duggan, the first winner of the Royal Rumble. Enough said.

The Big Guys
The big guys are the ones so huge, that when they enter the ring, all the other men look at each and agree they must combine their strength if anyone other than the big guy is going to win. This year there are three big guys in Mark Henry, The Great Khali and the Big Show. With five Rumbles under his belt, Mark Henry will once again be going over the top rope. Khali has only been in three Rumbles, and, well, he may have a surprise shot, but he likely will not. In his sixth year, the Big Show will also have no shot because, well, he's boring as a main event. Yokozuna is the only big guy to win the Royal Rumble (1993), but then again, he also was 27th entrant that year.

The Susan Lucci
Yes, I made this reference last year, and I still love it. Kane is the Susan Lucci (Erica Kane on All My Children, get it?) of the Royal Rumble. This will be his 12th consecutive year in the event, and Lucci didn't win her Emmy until she had been nominated 18 consecutive times, so I'd say the Big Red Machine has about six more years until he wins...

The Distractions
There are then those guys who really put on a good show in the Rumble, make it thrilling, make you think they could possibly win, and then Triple H or John Cena throws them over the top rope when the match needs to start ending. The stars of the Rumble this year will be Shelton Benjamin (8th year), MVP (3nd year), and The Hurricane (4rd year).

The Forgotten
So, Kane needs a few guys to toss out of the ring. These guys, when Michael Cole announces was just tossed out, will be the ones who make you say, "Wow, that's who that was." The reason you say this is because the ring gets so crowded, it gets hard to tell who is where, even on a big screen TV. That's why we have Kane. Our forgotten few will be CM Punk (4rd year), The Miz (3nd year), Carlito (5th year) and William Regal (3rd year).

Yup, gotta give him his own category. The man has the record for the shortest time in a Rumble match at 1.9 seconds. He thinks he'll win it this year. Dude, Triple H thinks he'll win it this year, too. Good luck.

The Teams
Legacy- Okay, I'll go out on a limb and say it's possible one of these guys will win, Orton will win, and then we have Orton v. 1/2 Legacy at Wrestlemania. I think it will make for a great storyline, and it's one they've been building up for a while. But, which one is worthy? I just don't know. And, that's probably why it won't happen.
Hart Dynasty- Neither DH Smith or Tyson Kidd are in the match yet, but there is a good chance they will be considering how many of their relatives have participated. However, has a Hart ever won?
DX- You can argue both guys have a shot. Triple H won the longest Rumble match in 2002. Shawn Michaels won the shortest 30-man Rumble match in 1995, oh, and was the #1 entrant. Michaels also won the 1996 Rumble and is one of only 3 men to win Rumbles back-to-back. Here is why both won't be adding any more wins this year:
- There is no way Michaels and Taker can top what they did last year. They cannot have a rematch without topping last year's spectacular.
- DX will be defending the Tag Team Championship at Wrestlemania.

The Real Contenders
- John Cena (2008 winner) basically has to be in a main event match because he is the golden child of the WWE. Cena's problem is he never really gets involved with anyone-- he's just after whomever has the belt. This is why it's so hard for the writers to legitimately get him into a main event match and why we end up with Triple threat matches. So, winning the Royal Rumble will solve that problem for the writers.
- Batista (2005 winner) is an interesting choice because either Taker or Rey Mysterio could win the title match, and we'd have a good match-up for Wrestlemania. If neither Batista or Rey win Sunday night, you can bet they will be meeting each other at Wrestlemania.
- Jericho has been in five Royal Rumble matches and has never won. However, Jericho is sly, and does usually end up surviving quite a while because of his ability to make the other competitors forget he is there. Jericho is also something different while being someone with experience to be in a Wrestlemania Main Event. Plus, Jericho, even though he has been banished from Raw several times, could use this as a new in to Raw, and challenge Sheamus or Orton.
- Kofi Kingston will only win if Randy Orton wins. I think Wrestlemania needs someone new at the main event and needs that person to win, and I think Kofi Kingston will be leaving Arizona a very happy man.

On Superstars, Chris Masters earned a spot in the Rumble and R. Truth announced to Chris Jericho he was in it. Matt Hardy also appears to be added to the list. None of these three are winning. One person who doesn't have a spot yet is John Morrison, who has been in the match for the past four years, and really has been the star of the match. Not only would I love to see Morrison in the match again, but I would love to him win for the same reasons I think Kofi should win.

Dark Horse
There's almost always one surprise entrant-- someone coming back from injury, some old-timer, you-know, something. Well, did you know that Bret Hart was the first ever entrant to the Royal Rumble back in 1988. Wouldn't it be awesome if he was the 30th entrant Sunday night? And he wins! And then, instead of going for a title, he goes for Vince! And then, there's chaos over who gets to be the #1 contenders for all the belts! Yup, it's a dream which probably won't come true, but isn't it an awesome dream?
(In case you missed Impact, Kurt Angle is not going anywhere. In fact, Earl Hebner, and nobody else, screwed both Angle and Hart for the money...)

And, drum roll please, my card for Wrestlemania:
Randy Orton v. Kofi Kingston (Rumble Winner)
Undertaker v. Batista
Vince McMahon v. Bret Hart (yeah, it's going to happen anyway)
Christian v. random ECW guy (seriously, their roster is really light)
DX v. The Hart Dynasty
Miz v. MVP

(and maybe they'll find something for John Cena to do... maybe they'll find another WWE films movie he just has to film in Vancouver that weekend...)


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