Friday, February 14, 2014

Love, Professional Wrestling Style

For Valentine's Day, I could run through the best wrestling weddings, but I've done that before. I could talk about how lovingly Stephanie always looks at Triple H whenever he's talking on camera, but there's not much more to that. I could tell you about the new WWE video blog series starring newlyweds Cody and Brandi Rhodes, but you can just watch it here.

No, and I'm not even going to give you a DX-type promo for the new HBK DVD.

I'm going to talk about the latest wrestling break-up. And, of course, the only way to settle their differences was in the ring.

Sometimes, it's kinda frowned upon to throw a woman in a match against a man. Considering it's all staged and the women train with the men anyway, I have no problem with it, especially if the woman shows she can hold her own against the man. It can show girls watching to stand up for themselves and show boys not to underestimate girls.

Chris Sabin isn't exactly the biggest guy (or the smartest) on the roster, so it was credible that Velvet could take him. She showed bravery and intelligence, until the unexpected happened.

See, usually in these matches, a man comes out to help the woman. The woman somehow becomes a damsel who needs to be saved, and sometimes even looks like a slut by some implied relationship with the second man.

But, in this match, it was Sabin who was saved by another woman. A new Knockout (Alpha Female, according to Diva Dirt-- yeah, I did some research) who looked like the female version of Nuclear Man from "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace." You know, the "I will hurt people" guy. In fact, you know how that Nuclear Man had Superman's DNA? It almost looked like this newbie was made from Velvet's and maybe Chyna's DNA.

I'm assuming Alpha will be more of the body guard type rather than girlfriend type, at least at first, considering she carried Sabin out on her shoulders. Yeah. That's where the Chyna part comes in.

This certainly wasn't the best break-up in wrestling history, but it is a great fantasy example of how to break up the day before Valentine's Day. She got to hit him in the balls twice, while he was able to get his revenge without being the one to hit her, and neither have to worry about getting a gift during a snowstorm.


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