Wednesday, July 6, 2011

CM Punk Update/ 80's Superstars

CM Punk Update:
Just so you know the latest, the CM Punk v. John Cena for the WWE Championship is still on for the Money in the Bank PPV. Also, even though we all know villains lie, Punk is not lying... according to GLAAD, WWE informed them CM Punk's departure is real. His contract does expire and he will be leaving the company.

The 80's:
A tweet from Jim Ross yesterday made me wonder how the Superstars of today match up with those from the 80's, also known as the Golden Age of wrestling. I came up with the following... feel free to add your own in the comments or on Facebook. (Go ahead and test these match-ups in your WWE All Stars game. You know you have it):

John Cena is Hulk Hogan- I'm pretty sure I've made this conclusion before, maybe even a few times. He is the star of the company, and he can't go heel without breaking the hearts of children everywhere.

John Morrison is Shawn Michaels- I've made this comparison, too, before, and I stick by it. He is a rock star and is always a thrill to watch perform. Morrison is the new showstopper.

Alberto Del Rio is Ted DiBiase- Even though Ted Jr. would like to be the new Ted DiBiase, he just doesn't (at least not yet) have the charisma his father had. Another Jr does, but you already knew that...

Randy Orton is Macho Man- This was a had one to call, because, really there is no comparison to Macho Man. However, just like Randy Poffo, Randy Orton can slide from heel to face easily. Both men also had alliances with the #1 guy in the company and have victimized women, even though Orton uses an actress instead of his real wife when his "wife" is needed for impact.

Chris Jericho is Rowdy Roddy Piper- Okay, I know Jericho is not a current wrestler, but he can always come back whenever he's done touring Europe with his band Fozzy. Nobody is as witty as these two men.

Big Show is Andre the Giant- Okay, I know this is the well, duh, one. Big Show once even had a character who was Andre's son. But, the comparison is not just in height. They are both endearing men who will live on forever in movies not produced by the WWE.

Santino and Kozlov are the Bushwhackers- Sometimes wrestling can get a little heavy with its issues and stories. That's why we need comic relief, and comics many times work best in pairs. In the 80's, we had the Bushwhackers, swinging their arms as they walked to the ring. Today, we have Santino and Kozlov.

Sin Cara is the Ultimate Warrior- I compared these two because of their energy level at all times in a match. You can feel the energy in their ring entrances and it continues through to the pin.

Jack Swagger is Mr. Perfect- He's not quite at Mr. Perfect level, but he's the closest thing we've got. He's trying people. The All-American American thing echoes Mr. Perfect. What Swagger needs is to go to Chuckee Cheese with Zack Ryder and get Ryder to video tape him mastering the games and put it on You Tube. Make it into a series. Swagger came close with his trophy assortment in the ring, but I think seeing him outside the ring using his I'm-better-than-you jock persona will take him over the top.

Evan Bourne is Ricky the Dragon Steamboat- This was another hard comparison to make, but Bourne's moves do stun me as Steamboat's did back in the day. All he needs is ninjas to fight in a park...

The Miz is The Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff- Yes, The Miz is not a foreigner, but he is probably hated as much as these guys were back in the day. Because they were so good at being bad, like The Miz, they found their way into quite a few major feuds with major guys. Nobody wanted to see them hold the belt, either. (I could have compared The Miz to Jake the Snake, but thought it wasn't fair to Alex Riley, since I would then be comparing him to Damien...)

So, what are the stars lacking today? Character, charisma and off-site videos that tell us more about them.

That is why The Miz was champion. He gets it.

That is why Zack Ryder is getting such a huge following. He gets it. If the WWE cannot use Ryder's in-ring ability, perhaps they should use Ryder in creative to help the guys who do have the ring abilities get the attention-getting abilities.

Oh, and by the way, if you're looking for a comparison to Bret Hart, there is none. You know the line...


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