Sunday, August 19, 2012

Snoozerslam 2012: News and notes from a waste of $44

As Summerslam went on Sunday night, I kept waiting for the show to get better.

And waiting. And waiting.

Most of the night shaped up like an above-average Raw (at best), but I figured Triple H versus Brock Lesnar would make it all worth while.

It didn’t.

Lesnar has ONE MOVE, the arm grab, which he did over and over and over. It reminded me of why I didn’t enjoy Lesnar last time he was in WWE, culminating with his horrible bust of a match with Goldberg at WrestleMania. If Steve Austin hadn’t been there to stun both of them, it would have been a total loss.

There were a few jarring shots, but it had the feel of a match that neither competitor was buying into, possibly in part due to Lesnar having difficulties with WWE. Lesnar ended up winning – as someone had to – with HHH taking the roll as he has in so many big matches to make someone else look good. Maybe that was the only way it was going to go down, as Lesnar didn’t come back to lose every match.

But the action was not that great, and in many ways it was a poor effort for what is supposed to be the second-biggest PPV of the year.

The night started with Chris Jericho taking on Dolph Ziggler, and Y2J finally got the big win he had been seeking since returning to the WWE.

The match was average and not all that inspiring for the potential of these two, but perhaps they are saving something for a future encounter.

Daniel Bryan – who now is one of the top superstars in terms of crowd reaction – then pulled an upset over Kane. The fans were going wild chanting “Yes!” as Bryan kicked Kane repeatedly, while Bryan himself was yelling “No!” It is amazing how Bryan has built himself into such a popular star after starting as one of the dullest guys from the Nexus.

The Miz successfully defended his Intercontinental title with a win over Rey Mysterio, but while it is good to see a charismatic superstar like The Miz hold onto the gold, he has to do something about that used-car salesman beard.

The world heavyweight title match was also mediocre, as Sheamus cheated to retain to the belt.

Wait, what? I thought Sheamus was the face of this matchup. First he hit Del Rio with a shoe, and then he won with Del Rio’s foot on the rope. This is another example of the blurring of the line lately between faces and heels in WWE, with CM Punk as another who is a little of both.

(Side note: Going back to Bryan vs. Kane, who was the face and who was the heel in that one? I’m still not sure.)

The tag team title match was next, with the AW-less Prime Time Players – Titus O’Neal and Union Township native Darren Young – taking on Kofi Kingston and R-Truth.

(Side note No. 2: AW was in fact fired for his comment that the team he managed was “unstoppable, like Kobe Bryant in a Colorado hotel room.” Yeah, nice job, moron.)

Back to the match. It was interesting because it was one of the rare tag team championship matches involving four black competitors. The previous world tag team champions who were both black prior to Kofi and R-Truth was the pairing of legends Rocky Johnson and Tony Atlas in 1983. My records do not show whether they ever defended the belts against another all-black team.

As for the present, the match was decent, but R-Truth retained the gold for his team, denying Titus O’Neal (former Florida Gator football player as Thad Bullard) to join the other members of the Sunshine State’s Big 3 teams (Miami, The Rock; FSU, Ron Simmons) to hold WWE gold.

The WWE championship match did not feel like a big PPV match. It felt like another match on RAW, and it had to be restarted when John Cena and CM Punk both had submission holds locked onto the Big Show, who tapped out to both. AJ came out and had them restart the match. That gave us, the viewers, some hope that this match could have a decent ending, but it was not to be. After about a minute, Cena hit the AA on Show, but Punk dumped Cena and retained the belt, meaning that every champion kept their belt at Summerslam, which was something of a disappointment.

This match was boring enough that I was doing the WWE Hardcore Champions quiz on If you knew that each member of the Mean Street Posse – Joey Abs, Pete Gas and Rodney – all were Hardcore champ at one time, you did better on this quiz than I did.

Overall, though, it was a pretty disappointing Summerslam.


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