Monday, September 3, 2012

Sharing is caring

Last week's Raw included one of the best segments in history. Something that started out as an idea I feared, actually, became gold thanks to Kane.

If you missed it, it was a group anger management session in which Daniel Bryan soon found out he wasn't the only Superstar forced to attend. Kane entered the room, to the fear of just about everyone, and was asked to share his story.

Kane has quite a story, one you would expect from a soap opera star. I was hysterical laughing, remembering each part of Kane's story as he told it as only he can.

If you too were hysterical and missed something, here's the transcript:

Kane: I’m the Devil’s favorite demon.

Doctor/Group Leader: Great. So tell us, Kane, what makes you angry. Please, Kane we’re here to help so maybe start from your childhood. Remember sharing is caring.

Bryan: This is a bad idea.

Kane: Well, I grew up locked in a basement suffering severe psychological and emotional scarring when my brother set my parents on fire. From there I shifted around to a series of mental institutions until I was grown, at which point I buried my brother alive – twice...
Since then, I’ve set a couple of people on fire and abducted various co-workers. Oh, and I once electrocuted a man’s testicles. Years ago, I had a girlfriend named Katie. Let’s just say that didn’t turn out so well...
My real father is a guy named Paul Bearer, who I recently trapped in a meat locker. I’ve been married, divorced, broke up my ex-wife’s wedding and tombstoned the priest, and for reasons never quite explained, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose.
Tonight we'll get another segment of anger management. I'm eager to see what Kane unmasks in his "anger collage."


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