Sunday, January 29, 2012

Mock Royal Rumble Results

While some may perform mock Royal Rumbles using the latest WWE video game, we at The Trentonian took a different approach.

See, we have access to a small child who has a collection of WWE Rumblers, as well as the Rumbler ring, perfect for testing Rumble results.

The ring has paddles the child presses to make the ring floor move, eventually causing Rumblers (and various surprise guests) to go over the top rope.

The child chose 15 competitors (you really can't fit more than that in the ring) and placed them all in the ring for the event. Then, the bell rang.

Almost immediately, Triple H was thrown out. Soon, Alberto Del Rio and Luke Skywalker followed.

Surprisingly, John Cena was then no longer seen in the ring. Shawn Michaels couldn't save himself from exiting the ring with Jango Fett. Then, Sin Cara (actually the blue Rey Mysterio which the child calls Sin Cara) was tossed out.

The Rock wasn't cooking, because he was thrown out next. Then, with a big gasp from the child, Sheamus went over the top rope. Possibly the biggest heel ever in Rumble history, The Joker, was out next.

The final five stared each other down, then started rumbling again. Quickly, R. Truth, John Morrison and Rey Mysterio were eliminated.

C.M. Punk put up a hard fight, but eventually he was over powered by the Wookie World Order.

That's right. Chewbacca won our mock Royal Rumble. I never said this thing was scientific.

"Do you really think Chewbacca will win the Royal Rumble?" the small child asked wide-eyed.

We'll see, little kid. We'll see.

Want to join our Royal Rumble chat tonight? Click here!

Friday, January 27, 2012

2012 Royal Rumble Predictions

The Royal Rumble match is where anything can happen because it's where wrestlers return from injuries, old-timers make special appearances and 30 men (and sometimes a woman) mix it up.

It's no wonder the Pay-Per-View with the same name is the second biggest event for the WWE.

So, what do I think will happen and who has a chance of winning?

First, especially since WWE keeps emphasizing that ANYONE can participate, I believe either the WWE or World Heavyweight Champion will enter the Rumble. Yes, you heard me correctly. One of those champions will get the itch be an undisputed champion. And, you know what? I actually think he'll have a chance of winning.

Here's why: We already have a main event for WrestleMania in the Rock v. John Cena. If Taker does make the return everyone seems to be thinking he will make to face Triple H once again, there's another main event. (Personally, I think the WWE should have Taker make a surprise return at WrestleMania and screw someone. The streak doesn't have to be in consecutive years to stay alive.) Do we really need two more main events with the championship matches? No. That's why it makes sense to have a Champion v. Champion match at WrestleMania this year.

But, if that doesn't happen, and CM Punk still ends up getting screwed out of the title, he will win the Rumble.

Now, let's say Punk retains the title, and the first scenario doesn't work out. Christian will be making his return from injury, and, in Edge fashion, will win the Rumble. Oh, and see him facing Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania.

Of course, there are a few other guys have shots like Randy Orton, Kane (and if it is him, Taker will be screwing him in my personal WrestleMania thought) or even Zack Ryder if he is "medically cleared."

Brodus Clay will be our mid-Rumble entertainment, entering at about 15. Kofi Kingston will be the workhorse and probably stay in the longest. I see Mick Foley, unfortunately, getting humiliated.

I see the Miz somehow staying in the match for a pretty long period of time. You know he'll "get got" by R-Truth, though, when he enters sometime in the 20s.

One person we will not see is Evan Bourne, who was issued his second suspension last week for violating the Wellness Policy.

If you would like to ridicule me for my picks that do not come true, or just want to chat during the Royal Rumble, join The Trentonian's chat during the event Sunday night. Watch for a blog post here on Sunday with the link to the chat room. I'll also post the link on my Facebook page and on the Trentonian's Twitter feed.

Monday, January 16, 2012

The curious case of Brodus Clay, part 2

After getting a week to fully digest Brodus Clay's return, I've come to two conclusions.

Let me explain. Back in, oh, November, when WWE started hyping his return to the main stage, he was advertised as big scary dude, as he was last time we saw him. I think perhaps if they didn't show us these promos, I would have liked Clay's new character. It's a character type that's worked in the past and is missing today.

Obviously, his return was delayed because someone decided they didn't need another big scary dude with Kane returning. The writers and Clay had to come up with a new character, or Clay would just have to hang in the background, aka Superstars.

So, we get the "Funkasaurus." That's the first thought.

Second thought is, what if his gimmick is to just shock us with a totally different persona each week? Maybe he will be big and scary and will crush Perez Hilton tonight. Maybe Clay's character will be scary because you'll never know which personality you're facing each night.

If that's it, I'll be impressed, and I'm sure we will all be waiting to see Clay each week. This second thought also gives him the ability to be a main eventer someday with, "control" over his personalities.

If it is just the first idea, I do like it-- we need more fun mixed in.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Hardy a chance

Tonight, Jeff Hardy will get a shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

A shot.

In other words, he won't have trouble getting through airport security due to a new accessory.

Why? Even though Hardy is incredibly talented, it's going to take him much longer than it's been sober (at we hope he is sober) and well-behaved to earn back the trust of the company. Think about it, would you want him, with his track record even in just the past year, to be the face of your company?

If Dixie Carter and Hulk Hogan do, their middle names might as well be "Nero."

Monday, January 2, 2012

Where's Jericho?

That's the game playing on Twitter right now. He's been "spotted" in Gettysburg and even on the ice at the Winter Classic. But, the real question is, is he really in Memphis, which the photo (at right) which started all this commotion claims?

Raw, of course, is in Memphis tonight.

There is also a photo of Undertaker with wife Michelle McCool at the airport circulating, but that one appears to be a fake (okay, well, an old photo--not from today or this weekend). Is the Chris Jericho one a fake, too? Jericho, who is promoting the various Jericho sightings around the world, tweeted, "Apparently I've been cloned..."

(follow Jericho on Twitter @IamJericho)